Why stress hits harder when you’re far from home

Theodora Seliniotaki from Stress Talk, a psychology practice, explains how work stress can be traumatic, leading to burnout, and why it might be harder for expats to recover.

It’s a common misconception that burnout is simply the result of too much work or overtime. For many expats, this is only part of the story. While all jobs come with stress, some workplace stressors can be perceived as traumatic - especially for expats with unresolved trauma.

This trauma doesn’t just worsen burnout; it makes recovery significantly harder. Combined with the challenges of expat life - loneliness, lack of social support, and cultural adaptation - burnout can feel like being trapped in a room without an exit.

When stress becomes trauma: The missing piece in burnout recovery

Not all stress leads to trauma. But when stress overwhelms a person’s ability to cope, leaving them feeling powerless or unsafe, it can have lasting effects. In the workplace, extreme stress can have causes such as:

• Toxic leadership: Constant criticism, micromanagement, or emotionally unpredictable managers can trigger a fight-or-flight response, especially in those with past trauma.
• Workplace bullying or exclusion: Being ignored, belittled, or scapegoated can trigger deep-seated fears of rejection or unworthiness.
• Chronic job insecurity: The fear of losing one’s job can activate a survival response, keeping the nervous system in fight-or-flight mode and making rest nearly impossible.
• Ethical conflicts: When personal values clash with company culture, employees may experience moral distress, adding to chronic stress.

While these experiences affect all employees, expats often feel them more intensely due to cultural differences, language barriers and limited social support. What might be frustrating to a local employee can feel devastating to someone far from home, complicating burnout recovery.

How past trauma shapes stress sensitivity

Many expats struggling with burnout have a history of difficult experiences that shape how they respond to stress. Childhood emotional neglect, perfectionism or unstable family dynamics can lead to ingrained beliefs such as "I am never good enough" or "I must always prove my worth."

These beliefs make it difficult to set boundaries, leave toxic environments or recognise when help is needed. When someone carries the burden of past trauma, their nervous system can remain dysregulated - either in hyperarousal (anxiety, irritability) or hypo-arousal (exhaustion, numbness).

The mind and body are deeply connected, so when work stress exceeds a person’s coping capacity, their nervous system reacts as if facing imminent danger. This means that burnout isn’t just a mental health issue - it’s also physical.

Why burnout recovery feels impossible for some expats

Burnout recovery isn’t just about resting - it requires nervous system regulation, emotional processing and mindset shifts. Without addressing these factors, rest alone isn’t enough to fully heal. Some key barriers to recovery include:

• Hyper-independence: Many expats are used to handling life alone, making it difficult to ask for support.
• Self-blame and guilt: Cultural narratives that dismiss burnout as "not real" can pressure individuals to push through rather than seek help.
• Loss of identity: For high-achievers, burnout and rest can feel like losing a sense of self.
• Reactivated trauma responses: Workplace stress can unconsciously trigger old fears of rejection or failure, keeping people stuck in survival mode.

Breaking the cycle: What expats can do to heal

Burnout recovery requires more than a vacation. Healing involves addressing immediate symptoms - exhaustion, irritability, anger, and emotional distance - as well as the deeper patterns fuelling stress cycles. Strategies include:

• Recognising workplace trauma: Understanding that some stressors are not just "part of the job" but harmful is the first step to change.
• Nervous system regulation: Techniques like breathwork, mindfulness, EMDR therapy and somatic practices help shift the body out of survival mode.
• Re-framing self-worth: Moving from a performance-based identity to self-compassion makes recovery smoother.
• Building a support system: Connecting with therapists, expat communities or peer support creates a safety net for emotional processing and guidance.

Recognise the signs and ask for help

Burnout is more than exhaustion - it can be a trauma response, especially when workplace stressors bring old wounds to the surface. For expats, the combination of work stress, isolation, and past trauma makes recovery challenging but not impossible. By recognising the hidden impact of work-related trauma and taking intentional steps toward healing, expats can regain balance and build a healthier relationship with work and well-being.

Theodora is a Health Psychologist, CBT and EMDR therapist, and founder of Stress Talk, a private practice based in The Hague. Visit the Stress Talk website to learn more or book a free 15-minute intro call. Follow her on Instagram (@thestresspsychologist) for insights and fun content on mental health and expat life.