Fat Kids Corner food review: BACON!

“Bacon, Bacon, where’s the Bacon?”
“I smell Bacon,”
“Only one thing smells like Bacon!”
“And that’s BACON…!”

A fond memory of mine from an American TV commercial. In the 1990s, a company called Purina came out with dog treats called "Beggin Strips" that looked, smelled and tasted like bacon. Hey, don’t judge me, it was a dare! The commercial features the point of view from a hond, sniffing out these meaty treats, then, of course, barking for some bacon!

“It’s BACON!,” is what I barked out after sinking my canines into the Broodje Jordaan at the Smoked Crispy Bacon Sandwich House in the famous Jordaan buurt in Amsterdam. From Cafe Nol to the Noorderkerk, and from Kings Day to the Saturday Market, the Westerstraat is a beautiful representation of Dutch culture.

Besides the delicious food, it’s also a neighbourhood that is known for producing “famous” Dutch singers and talent like Johnny Jordaan and Tante Leen. “Rode rozen, rode rozen, op de tafel voor mijn raam…“ Dutch accordionist Johnny Meijer, considered by many to be the beste van de wereld, also came from the Jordaan.

An important day in history: May 12, 1997

I was 22 years old, living at home in New York with my parents and the #1 song in America was “Hypnotize” by the Notorious BIG… and we all know that one! “Piggy Piggy Piggy, can’t you see, sometimes your smell just hypnotize me.” Or something like that… Other things that happened on that day in history:

• Australian Susie Maroney became the first person to swim from Cuba to Florida
• Russia & Chechnya signed a peace deal after 400 years of conflict
• A Tornado narrowly missed downtown Miami.

All boring… More importantly, it was the day that beautiful, enthusiastic and generous Saskia, and her husband, opened the Smoked Crispy Bacon Sandwich House.

A year or so ago, on a beer-soaked, blur of an evening in Amsterdam, I find myself at the Cafe Old Sailor in het Centrum. Side note - If you want a real “Amsterdam Pub Experience,” gezelligheid, een biertje and a hangover the next day, you go there. Conversations over food, beer, dames, travel, Amerika and Amsterdam, and I make a new friend in top barman, Michiel. All-around entertainer and “Food Burgermeester of Amsterdam”, Michiel invites me to lunch at the Crispy Smoked Bacon Sandwich House a few days later.

It’s Thursday and I cycle down the Westerstraat and ga links on Tweede Tuindwarsstraat. Instantly, I’m possessed by pig. I’m smelling BACON from down the street and I nose I’m close!

A flag blows in the wind and giant letters on their front window say, “Smoked Crispy Bacon Sandwich House.” On display, the most tantalising, sexiest image you ever did see… Heaps and heaps of Smoked-Crispy-BACON!

I’ll get straight to the point. The Broodje Jordaan aka “Bacony Behemoth” is made with bread, preferably a pistoletje, lettuce, a slice of cheese (if requested), kip filet (which is a sort of Chicken Bologna) a smeer of curry mayo and the ster of the show... Crispy, smoked, BACON! It’s smoked on Beechwood, which gives the BACON a mild, delicate and nutty flavour.

Mouthwatering, my jaw unhinges, and I tear off a bite of this Amsterdam take on the American classic, the B.L.T.

The Fat Kid is impressed 

Eating like a pig, bite after bite, I now understand why the dogs were going crazy in that commercial. I’m going to sit, I’m going to stay and I will roll-over for more BACON. As I finish, Saskia asks, “Was het lekker?” “Ja, tuurlijk (Of course),” I reply. I walk out with a potbelly full of pork” saying “Tot de volgende keer!” And there most definitely will be a next time...