Divorce and children: What expats in the Netherlands need to know

Family law attorney with GMW Lawyers, Eva Jongkoen, explains the legal principles, what to expect and how to best support your children during a divorce in the Netherlands.

Divorces are an unhappy fact of life, and they are always complicated, even when amicable. When children are involved, it can get very tricky indeed, especially if you are not necessarily familiar with the Dutch legal system.

Here's a short guide to how the Dutch legal system approaches ensuring a child is cared for during and after a divorce and how you can best support your child throughout.

Understanding parental authority

In the Netherlands, both parents typically retain parental authority after a divorce. This means that both parents remain legally responsible for the care and upbringing of their children.

If you and your partner have joint parental authority, you will need to make arrangements for the care and access of your children. These arrangements can be included in a parenting plan.

Division of care and parenting tasks

Parents will have to agree with each other on which days each will have the care of the children after the divorce. This care arrangement can be divided more or less evenly. This is often referred to as a co-parenting arrangement.

A different division can also be chosen, such as a division in which the child stays with one parent more often than with the other. This may be necessary for several reasons, often because it fits better with the parents' work schedules.

Child maintenance

Both parents should contribute to the children's expenses in proportion to their own income. In a divorce situation, the exact amount by which each should contribute to the cost of the children is calculated. One outcome may be that one parent has to pay the other parent an amount of child maintenance (also known as child support or child alimony).

For parents with a more or less equal income and a 50/50 division of the care responsibilities, sometimes it is considered a good idea to open a joint "child bank account". Here, both parents deposit a monthly amount from which the additional costs for the child are paid.

Parenting plan requirement

One crucial aspect of divorce involving children in the Netherlands is the mandatory parenting plan (ouderschapsplan). Parents who are divorcing, separating or ending a civil partnership are required by law to create a parenting plan if they have underage children.

The parenting plan must include agreements on the care arrangement, communication about important topics and the costs of care and upbringing. Both parents must sign the parenting plan, ensuring that it reflects mutual agreements and commitments.

Key components of a parenting plan

1. Care arrangement: Details on how the child's time will be divided between the parents, including living arrangements and contact schedules.
2. Communication: Agreements on how parents will communicate about important decisions regarding the child's education, health, and general well-being.
3. Financial arrangements: Information on child maintenance and how the costs of raising the child will be shared between the parents.
4. The child’s opinion: Involve the children as much as possible when creating a parenting plan, in a manner appropriate to the age of the children.

Creating a comprehensive parenting plan helps ensure that both parents are on the same page and provides a stable environment for the child. It is advisable to seek legal assistance when drafting a parenting plan to ensure all necessary aspects are covered and legally binding.

If you are unable to reach a full consensus on the parenting plan then consider using a mediator to help guide you to an arrangement on which you can agree. If you really can't come to an agreement, the court will ultimately determine a final settlement.

Emotional support for children

Divorce can be a traumatic experience for children. It is crucial to provide emotional support and stability during this time. Here are some tips to help your children cope with the changes:

1. Open communication: Encourage your children to express their feelings and concerns. Listen to them and provide reassurance.
2. Consistency: Maintain routines and consistency in your children's daily lives to provide a sense of stability.
3. Professional help: Consider seeking the help of a child psychologist or counsellor to support your children through the emotional challenges of divorce. Several support programmes are available in the Netherlands for children who are struggling or could use guidance during their parents’ divorce.

Legal considerations for expats

There are additional legal considerations to keep in mind when you are an expat. If you or your partner is a foreign citizen, you can file for divorce in the Netherlands if at least one of you lives in the country. It is compulsory to hire a lawyer to file for divorce.

If your partner has already filed for divorce outside the Netherlands, the Dutch court may decline jurisdiction in favour of the court outside the Netherlands.

Seek advice when needed

Divorce is never easy, but understanding the legal aspects and knowing how to provide emotional support to your children can help make the process smoother. As an expat in the Netherlands, it is essential to familiarise yourself with the Dutch legal system.

Seeking professional advice can help you reach an amicable and beneficial arrangement with relatively little fuss.

Are you going through a divorce or need help regarding childcare or support? GMW Lawyers are family law experts who also specialise in helping expats. Contact them today by calling +31 (0)70 2171935 or by emailing info@gmw.nl.